What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

The Smallest Dinosaur Ever Discovered Was Just… - The Daily Galaxy

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Make Nazis afraid again!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Do you think most people would rather be a certain race or are most people happy with the race they are?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What is the dirtiest city in India?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Why are patients' mouths taped shut during surgery? Is this a common practice in all hospitals or only some? What is the purpose of this practice?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Are the seasons in Ireland different from those in Scotland, England, and Wales? Or are they just milder versions of each other?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

TEXT:

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

What has been your best sexual experience?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.